June 23, 2004

• Beach Bum Volleyball - Wednesday!!!!

  
  

  ******Fat Balls vs. Six Pack******

  
  

  First of all, can someone tell me why the freak on earth do we have to name our team "Fat Balls"....  ?? wtf...???  now it's like....  we suck and we are Fat Balls....    

  
  

  Anyways....   we got slaughtered in game 1 and 3... but almost won game 2, which was  good news.  We also have 2 more team members.....  peter and BIG SIS SIS Sarah who is about 5-6 years older than me btw (i am only 22....) 

  
  

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  ok, other than fun basketball and volleyball, time to write some "gay" "feelings" down so you guys can call me gay even more often. 

  
  

  I think I am so useless. 

  
  

  I do not know how to utilize time and I am not motivated to do anything. 

  
  

  I am not willing to gemble and take chances, because i always look for stability in my life.  I am very careful, and I try not to do things that I have no confidence at.  This has made me a very boring and somewhat anti-social person, to most of you who know me. 

  
  

  I can't let things go sometimes and it bugs the shit out of me. 

  
  

  I am too emotional and I am not as happy as I look most of the time. 

  
  

  I don't know since when I started to joke a lot and pretend I am happy. 

  
  

  I use to be able to just play games and forget about things, and now that doesn't work anymore.  This frustrates me the most.....  ... 

  
  

  I am so f-ing confused about everything.  I think i need a big slap on my face so maybe i can snap out of it.  If you would like to slap me, or spank me (this is only open for ladies.  Please e-mail me your application and how you would like to slap me)

  
  

  I am so tired of thinking.  I wish things can just be easy and straight-forward.  I am tired of simulating situations on every little things of my life.

  
  

  I wish i am not so lazy.  when ppl ask me to go out, i wish i can just say yes.  But somewhat my lazy brain will stop me from going since i hate driving.  AND it uses the excuse of "it's ok for me to be lazy, since I use to drive too much..."  This is a f-ed up defensive mechanism that my brain generates to legalize my laziness.  Fook!

  
  

  I am a very logical person.  I need a reason for everything .... and recently things have gone differently for me which i can't seem to take it.  I began to encounter things that I cannot explain and guess what... IT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME AGAIN! ROAR...

  
  

  I want to be free........  I have been locked up in a cage for almost 3 years....  just when i thought I am free, I walked right into another one.........................

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 11:59 pm
  • 4 Comments